This thread is for fake reviews. I don't mean ones you've seen and think are fake, rather ones you make up now that are either funny, over the top good, or horribly bad and book bashing - and not for any books in particular. I'll start with a few:
"The most influential book I've taken into the bathroom in quite some time."
"I could not put this book down... fast enough."
"This is a page turner! I turned at least a hundred pages to find a coherent sentence."
"I was immediately drawn in by the first sentence. By the third, I was bored out of my mind."